Here are two songs I like that came out this month.

1. “Lonely” - Fcukers. Their new album Ö is fun. It features a lot of singles that have already been released from 2025 onwards, but this track is new and it slaps.

2. “Agony Freak” - Snail Mail. I like the heavier guitar here.

IMAGES

🐇

I’m very depressed because I am trying, and failing, to manage scheduling conflicts that are outside of my control. I am looking at medieval art in the Met when I run into yet another setback. I think of Helene Schjerbeck’s haunting self-portraits when she is close to death, which I just observed in the Lehman Wing moments ago. I crumple in a folding chair and bow my head. Last night I watched the last fifteen minutes of Sirat through tiny windows between my fingers while covering my face with my hands. I wanted things to work out. I really did.

🐇

Rick and I are playing Crazy Eights over pints of pilsner and spätzle at Heidelberg uptown. There are stained glass windows and ceramic mugs hanging from hooks on old wooden beams above us. At night there is a big party at Baby’s All Right where I vent to friends and acquaintances about my grievances. God’s Plan by Drake plays in one room and a mariachi band plays at midnight in another. There is a male stripper in the green room in an FDNY hat. It’s good old fashioned New York City fun. I am filled with the sensation that everything will work out just as it’s meant to. Not yet, but eventually.

Here are two songs I like that came out this month.

1. “White Feather Hawk Tail Deer Hunter” - Lana Del Rey. Sick as hell. Oscillated between listening to this song on repeat and reading Flat Earth in LA earlier this month. Similar themes!

2. “This Time I’m Present” - Ulrika Spacek. Really liking their new album. Excited to see them at Mercury Lounge this month!

IMAGES

White hot radiator bounces beams of light off of my dirty clothes 
Lana Del Rey cosplays as Tiger Lily and it’s never sounded so good
All of my boundaries are melting in the rain
And I want to live in this fairytale cottage with you 
Down the street from Sephora
Eating Nerds Gummy Clusters on the living room floor
Talking about how they’re the best invention 
Even better than smart phones
Because Nerds Rope was just too bulky
And hard to pull apart

Here are two songs I like that came out this month.

1. “Good Night Baby” - Daphni. Caribou’s side project is ephemeral, wistful, and still dancey.

2. “Dead End” - Snail Mail. This track feels very Momma-inspired, and I like Lindsey singing in this higher register.

IMAGES

Here are two songs I like that came out in December.

1. “But You Just Woke Me Up” - This Is Lorelei. Feels like early 2010s pop rock in a really good way.

2. “Flowers” - BeerbellyJake. BeerbellyJake is somewhat of a sleeper hitmaker in the shoegaze / lo-fi community. This single would be fun to hear live in a small DIY venue. RIP The Glove, you would have been perfect for this.

IMAGES

I’ve only ever lived in cities: Los Angeles during my youth, New York during my adult life, and London during study abroad. For me, small towns like Haddonfield are just about as alien as foreign countries, and I explore them with the same level of care and intrigue. It is strange and delightful to be somewhere so wholesome.

Seemingly everyone greets each other by name. I go with my cousin Celia to drop off homemade ginger snaps at each house down the road, and neighbors respond in kind. Two varieties of homemade pretzels are delivered; one soft and covered in salt, the other crunchy and coated in chocolate.

There are long silences in the living room while my cousins work on a miniature puzzle replica of Van Gogh’s “Wheat Field with Cypresses.” My maternal grandfather, a retired surgeon, watches with hawk-like eyes, acutely judging my cousins’ level of precision as they struggle to correctly match near-identical pieces of sky and tree.

My mom (Jennifer), brother (Tyler), and mom’s fiancée (Bruce) have all flown in from LA. My mom loves sparkling wine, and she and Bruce have ensured that we have some of the very best; bottles of Veuve Cliquot, Tattinger, and Mumm are all flowing throughout the Christmas festivities.

Days are short here in Haddonfield. I find myself waking up close to noon and exhausted by 9:30 PM. I’m catching up on sleep from this semester of teaching (I typically wake up at 6:50 AM on weekdays). It’s not just that, though — I feel comforted and held with so much family around in my aunt and uncle’s cozy home. I feel safe and cared for. At home in New York City, I’m always hustling. Here, I can finally rest.

Here are two songs I like that came out in November.

1. “Not Sacred” - Momma. A heater of a deluxe track.

2. “Cruise Ship Designer” - Dry Cleaning. Kind of feels like a poem, kind of feels like a Flight of the Conchords style track. It’s strange and I like it.

IMAGES

🐇

There have been many fun nights with friends and colleagues recently, with good food and drinks and conversation flowing. Sake and endless sashimi at Decibel with Rick, VR, and Jordan; there was a sweepstakes to win a bottle of sake that night and of course VR and Jordan, who were only in the city for one night visiting from Oregon, won the sweepstakes. New York City magic. Work events in the evenings with coworkers. How can we make the school even better? How can we show up as our best selves every day? Good questions and a plethora of answers. Friendsgiving with Sal, Matt, Dani, Kim. Thai takeout because no one had the bandwidth to cook, but that was fine by us. White wine for some and NA seltzer for others. Going around the table, we all say we’re thankful for each other. Then we curl up on the couch and watch The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, with Olive the cat padding underneath our feet.

🐇

Two highly acclaimed films are out about kidnappings performed under pretenses which may or may not be false — Yorgos Lanthimos’ Bugonia and Jafar Panahi’s It Was Just an Accident. What does this say about an era where so many people have their own version of the “truth”? Can truth ever be objective? Should we trust our intuition, even when others might think we’re acting insane? These films both ask questions that speak to our distinct cultural moment. It’s a strange and interesting time to be alive — but when isn’t?

Here are five songs I like that came out this month.

1. “Ascend” - Kelly Lee Owens. She’s in her Basement era and I’m here for it.

2. A new track from ⣎⡇ꉺლ༽இ•̛)ྀ◞ ༎ຶ ༽ৣৢ؞ৢ؞ؖ ꉺლ. (When I try to copy and paste the title of the track here, it breaks my post. Too many symbols.) Suffice to say, Four Tet continues to put out incredible, hypnotic tracks under this inscrutable alias.

3. “The Coward Forgets His Nightmare” - Chanel Beads. A good band doing what they do best.

4. “What You Need” - Jay Som, Soft Glas. This is good brisk cool fall weather music.

5. “Pussy Palace” - Lily Allen. She really laid David Harbour out to dry.

IMAGES

Here are two songs I like that came out in September.

1. “Husbands” - Geese. Cameron Winter’s voice is timeless, and the layering vocal effect here is amazing.

2. “rooster” - bar italia. I feel like this song is a bit heavier than what they usually put out, and I just know it would sound awesome live.

IMAGES

Eden’s cousin, a fashion gay named Cody (Spencer Cramer), is also dealing with a break up; at the beginning of the play, we learn that the cousins have just moved in together because they are both newly single. While Eden can’t seem to handle being alone with her own thoughts, Cody is a textbook example of avoidant attachment. In a conversation Cody has with his college ex-turned friend Tee (played charismatically by the vivacious Taj Burroughs), we learn that Cody has been seeing someone new; however, after inviting this new flame to his housewarming party, Cody, paradoxically, goes cold. “I texted him and told him to turn around,” Cody tells Tee. “I need to protect my nest. . . [from] love pheromones; I dunno. Once it’s marked —“ Cody trails off. Cody clearly craves romantic attention and validation, but can’t reconcile his desire for togetherness with the full reality of a romantic partner’s personhood. Cody loves high fashion — clothes that fit together perfectly, that are clean, straight, and unwrinkled. Opening oneself up to someone new is inherently messy — and this frightens Cody. Deeply.

What may frighten Cody even more is the thought of turning into his “guncle” Billy. Billy is a rich attorney and an art collector, but is also an alcoholic who never allowed himself to settle down and find love. (Bob Laine is incredible in this role; looking into Laine’s eyes, one can instantly sense the anguish behind Billy’s jovial mask.) In my favorite scene of the play, Billy has a heart-to-heart with Cody, telling Cody that he wants him to inherit his art collection after he passes away. Billy has resigned himself to a life devoid of romantic love, and has no one else to bequeath the collection to, after all. When Cody questions why Billy only goes after straight guys who will certainly never give him the time of day, Billy responds with “longing is a perfect feeling.” Much of the play explores this concept — how does it feel to pine for someone, and how does it feel once we actually get what we thought we wanted?

The play is infused with Jungian undertones; Eden’s former psychoanalyst, Dana (Joanne Tomasello), coincidentally winds up living in the same building as Eden and Cody. And truly: what better way to engage with the collective unconscious than through the spectacle of theater? Throughout the play I saw myself in Tee, the warm-hearted (if a bit overbearing) friend trying to shake Cody out of a state of depression and fear. I saw myself in Billy, too afraid of getting hurt to be truly vulnerable. And, by the close of the play, I saw much of myself in Eden, who ultimately decides in an emotional conversation with Ezra that she thinks he’ll be brave enough to let her die first in old age, to go on without her — as arrogant as Ezra may be as an individual, he is selfless in their love, always showing up when Eden calls and even allowing her to keep his beloved Bob Dylan Blonde on Blonde record post-split. Will it actually work out if these two get back together? Who knows, but Eden’s sentiment — “I want someone to die with [;] I want someone to have children with” is simple, true and pure. If Eden’s purity of intention and Ezra’s willingness to forgive and show up can remain constant, then they just might have a shot.

In the last scene of the play, after this revelation, Dana drops by the apartment and gifts Eden a small hand mirror as a housewarming gift. A strange choice for a Jungian, who might typically stray away from asking one to confront their individuality in such a direct manner. Perhaps the implication is that Eden has spent so much time focused on others that she has forgotten to look at herself. Or perhaps she’s spent so much time focused on others — so much time engaging fully with others, ultimately making the difficult choice to become vulnerable and allow in a more complicated love — that now she finally can see herself.

I’m grading papers almost always
Feet in the river at Transmitter Park
Catching germs and blowing kisses 
Wondering about my white dress and diamonds
Skipping launch parties
Pushing deadlines
Drinking my wild berry Celsius
Dialing a debt collector
Frantic panting on the phone 
Exhausted crying in the living room
Tender feelings in the morning
Wanting to stay just a little bit longer 
When I know I have to leave the house 

Here are two songs I like that came out in August.

1. “tears on his rings and chains” - Dean Blunt, Elias Rønnenfelt. Sick duo here.

2. “Everyone’s Wrong” - Ariel Pink. He’s trolling and it sounds so good.

IMAGES

🎾

19 year old Learner Tien put up a huge fight against big dog Novak Djokovic in the second set of their Arthur Ashe Stadium match last night, forcing him to tiebreak. Tien was playing at the top of his game, hitting the ball hard, far, and wide. However, while he got to Djokovic’s drop shots in time, he still struggled to get the ball either over the net or inside the lines, and this is where he fell short. Ultimately, Tien heartbreakingly lost the set 7-6, then went on to lose the match. I’ve seen Djokovic the past three years of night one — never once have I seen someone challenge him as intensely as Tien did in this set. I’m looking forward to watching Tien continue to grow over the next few years; he’s certainly a rising star in the making. (And a fellow native Southern Californian! Yay.)

🎾

After Tien lost the second set, I made my way over to Medvedev vs. Bonzi on the smaller Louis Armstrong court. This is where all hell broke loose. Benjamin Bonzi, the French underdog ranked 51st in the world, was doing a great job of defeating 2021 US Open champion Daniil Medvedev, ranked 13th in the world. It looked like Bonzi would (incredibly) take the match in straight sets. It was match point, and Bonzi faulted on his first serve. Then, a photographer ran onto the court. This moment, and this man, will go down in tennis history. I genuinely feel sad for this photographer, whose name I now know is Selcuk Acar — I’m sure he thought Bonzi’s fault was an ace, and he wanted to be the one to get the first shot of the Frenchman celebrating his victory. But this was not the case; it was a grave and tragic error, a split-second moment which likely cost Acar his sports photography career.

🎾

Why did this moment matter so much? Well, it prompted controversial referee Greg Allensworth to tell Bonzi he was back to first serve. This call was technically correct — there was a disruption between first and second serve, and in such an instance, the player is typically awarded another shot at their first serve. However, in practice, Bonzi’s first serve was well over by the time the photographer ran onto the court, and the disruption lasted no more than a few seconds. Awarding Bonzi another first serve, on match point, simply didn’t make sense in this instance. It didn’t feel right! Medvedev ran up to Allensworth, brazenly criticizing the referee into the microphone and riling up fans. “He wants to go home, guys,” Medvedev sneered. “He gets paid by the match, not by the hour.” What followed was over six straight minutes of intense crowd booing, jeering, and whistling, all in support of Medvedev and against Allensworth’s call. Bonzi couldn’t take the heat. He missed not only his first serve re-do, but also his second serve. The crowd roared.

🎾

It looked like Bonzi might have been spiritually and mentally crushed. He ended up losing the third set entirely, and then lost the fourth set 6-0. Just when it seemed like all hope was lost, it appears that Bonzi realized something crucial. The crowd wasn’t against him — we were just against bad calls. This is New York City, after all. We don’t let shit slide. We fight for what we want here, and we hustle until we get it. Something clicked in Bonzi. He’d have to do the same thing. He wasn’t in the South of France anymore; this wasn’t A Tale of Summer, this was the US-motherfucking-Open. No more Rohmer vibes on the court — from here on out, it was Spike Lee energy only. Bonzi couldn’t be all French and lackadaisical; he’d have to put on his NYC hat and start moving.

🎾

Somehow, the Frenchman brought himself back from the brink, coming back to win 6-4 in the fifth set. The victory was well deserved. Medvedev smashed the racket he used during the match, then threw several brand new rackets out into the crowd before stomping off the court as his wife fled the stadium in embarrassed tears. New Yorkers may love justice, but no one respects a tantrum. Everything ended just as it was meant to.